Lobster Rolls

CASE: B Cat had never tried a lobster roll, or at least not one that he could think of. Which is basically the same as saying, "I've never had full-fat yogurt. But I HAVE had Key Lime Flavored Yoplait!" Now, cousin Ann and I have an unhealthy fixation on lobster rolls. One year for Susie's b-day we were determined to serve lobster rolls, mainly because Ann was having a hankering for them. She purchased hers at the Santa Monica Seafood Company for price of $39.99 a pound. (I know, right? For God's sake, just make it $40!) After her initial sticker shock, she conservatively estimated a 1/2 pound of lobster per person. There was enough lobster leftover for me to say, "I can see how people in Maine could get sick of lobster after a while." Anyway, I re-made them with the same lobster from the Santa Monica Seafood Company, and in my greediness, I ordered not 1/2 pound of lobster per person, but 5/8 of a pound per person. I'm not kidding. We each had two lobster rolls, and another for lunch the next day, and STILL had leftovers! Then again, the abundance of lobster made me feel really happy. The following recipe sounds ridiculous, I know, because there's almost no cooking involved. Whatever! Guilty of being delicious!

Fresh chunks of cooked lobster
Expensive hot dog rolls
butter
1/2 c finely chopped celery, not diced, but in nice half-rings
homemade mayonnaise

butter lettuce
tomatoes

Toast the hot dog rolls in butter til they have nice, crisp brown bits. Meanwhile, toss the chunks of lobster with the mayonnaise and celery bits. Layer the lobster in between the butter lettuce and tomatoes. Sprinkle with a fresh ground black pepper and serve with a lemon.

NOTE: I have made fresh lobster one time. It was very sad and very unpleasant. I think I also somehow cut myself. I prefer to just buy the lobster meat. You're probably also thinking, "Expensive hot dog buns? Does that exist?" Well, as a matter of fact, you can just check with Whole Foods if you think that hot dog buns cannot too be overpriced! But seriously, cheap buns just disintegrate in the mouth. They taste gritty. Expensive hot dog buns taste like fluffy Wonder Bread. They taste creamy and have a slightly chewy texture. And, at $3.99 for 6 in a bag, I really think it's worth the $1 splurge. Also, I personally like my lobster roll with butter lettuce and nothing more. B Cat liked his with tomatoes too, and in all honesty, tomatoes in a lobster roll is a pretty classic combination. The other thing we experimented with was a bit of fresh herbs. Chopped basil or tarragon feel right, because they go with the fresh mayonnaise so well. Anything more, and you're really ruining the lobster roll.

Homemade Mayonnaise

1 egg white
2 egg yolks
1 c plain oil, like canola
1 1/2 t dijon mustard
1 t white vinegar
Juice of one lemon
salt
pepper

Bring eggs to room temperature. Break up egg yolks with a whisk. Then whisk in some oil. Dump it all into a blender, and then slowly add the rest of the oil and other ingredients, all the while blending on high in between. I personally like a little olive-oil-y taste, so I use a little olive oil.

FINAL NOTE: The best way to serve these is with KFC re-engineered cole-slaw on the side, lemonade, and potato chips. Natch.

VERDICT: GUILTY! OF BEING DELICIOUS! (Honestly, this *just* might be The Best Thing I Ever Made For B Cat. He got really quiet while eating it and - now this is this is the real bit of hard, cold evidence - he ate more than me!)