The Best - and I mean BEST - Red Velvet Cupcake You Will Ever Have

(Just ask my cousin Susie!)

CASE: Susienificent and I wanted to do something schmancy for Valentine's Day one year and for some reason decided to make red velvet cupcakes. Needless to say, Susie ate most of them and hoarded the remaining precious few. I created this recipe out of a hodge-podge of recipes, and felt convinced that a good red velvet cake must be all of the following things: slightly chocolate-y, moist, a bright brilliant red, and dense-loooking yet spongy. I nixed any recipe that did not contain chocolate powder or buttermilk, and any recipe that contained less than 2 oz. of red food coloring. This is, after all, a Southern dessert. Also, I noticed the best recipes were for cake, not cupcakes! So I edited accordingly. As for the cream cheese frosting, it needed to be sweet and thick but not crusty. The result is a creamy red cupcake of utter goodness that is so red, if you accidentally crumble a cupcake on a towel later it will stain it red!

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

2 1/2 c flour
1 t salt
1/2 c butter (soft)
1 1/2 c sugar
2 eggs
2 T cocoa powder
2 oz. water
2 oz. red food coloring
1 c buttermilk
1 t vanilla
1 t white vinegar
1 t baking soda

Cream butter and sugar until fluffy. Add eggs to the mixture. Separately, in a little cup or something, make a paste out of the cocoa powder and food coloring. Add your red paste to the butter. Separately sift the flour and salt. Add dry into wet. Then...one at a time...add the buttermilk, vanilla and water. Separately, in a different little cup or something, combine the vinegar and baking soda. It will fizzle in a most exciting way. When it's done fizzling, fold it into your batter. Don't beat it! Fold it in gently. Pour a nice amount into each cupcake cup. Bake for 15-20 minutes, cool for 10 minutes in the tin, then off to a rack.

Cream Cheese Frosting

1 lb cream cheese
4 c sifted flour
2 sticks of butter, or 1 cup
1 t vanilla

Mix the first three ingredients, then beat on high for 5 full minutes. Stop mixing, add the vanilla and raise the speed again.

NOTE: Clean your hands right away. My cookbook still has red fingerprints and drips. Also - don't think I wasn't going to mention this Susie Pooh - but you really need to read the recipe before cooking this. You can't just go about recklessly adding food coloring and baking soda. This is a very technical recipe, and if you do not follow it, the result will not be creamy red cupcake of utter goodness that is so red, if you accidentally crumble a cupcake on a towel later it will stain it red. You will have to do the recipe over. And over. And over again. Yes, my young bright pup Susie and I made this 3 times. I won't say whose fault it was, but I will say that I made her swear not to tell anyone that we had over for dinner that night!

VERDICT: GUILTY! OF BEING DELICIOUS!